Confusion

Is there something you have been praying about for a long time? You know that your request is in keeping with God's will. ....... However, your request seems to go unanswered.

Those lines as well as the title of this post were taken from the June 28 page of "Enter His Gates", a daily devotional book by Charles Stanley. This book used to be on my desk when I was still working at the office so I had the chance to read it daily. I haven't read it since the day I brought home all my personal things from the office. Last month, I finally unpacked it.

Very early this morning, June 28, I felt a need to browse this book to be consoled. I opened the book twice in random pages, hoping I will land in a page that will appease my confused feelings, until I thought of looking at the page intended for this day, and there it is, the very exact words that will console me.

I am hoping I'll pass the job interview yesterday but what if I don't? There were 3 of us who were interviewed and I was the oldest. Late in October last year,there were two companies who contacted me at the same time, one scheduled me for interview while the other one asked me to submit some documents ASAP. I was confused because the two companies have entirely different businesses and job offered, but not one of them is close to sure in hiring me. I prayed for a sign, and after 3 days, one of the two companies called me up to tell me they want me to attend a training in Singapore. It can be the sign I prayed for so I said yes. The training lasted for 3 days only but we were given a homework that we had to submit by end of November. I was able to submit my output and was expecting to be officially hired by January. Unfortunately, last December, the participants in the training , which included me, were notified that implementation of the project was put on hold, as well as the hiring.

People would tell me, "it was the wrong sign!", but I know it is the right sign because I prayed for it, though it can have a different meaning, like maybe I should not pursue the other offer. So I am now waiting, but I wonder how long?

This is what the book says: God may give you a promise and then allow you to go through a time of waiting for Him to bring it to completion. That is when you face the greatest temptation to doubt Him. You wonder what He is doing, and you question His reasoning. Thoughts such as "Has God forgotten His promise?" run through your head as you worry over doing the right thing. Doubt is the breeding ground for confusion and fear.

Faith is the atmosphere in which hope and joy flourish. If God has promised to do a certain thing, it will be done. Never give up; with God all things are possible.

Special Child Caregiver

When I went to Greece with my son and daughter in July 2005, I missed Lyca, our adopted special child. A day before our trip back, I was thinking about her condition and began to seriously think about retiring from work so I can take care of her. We were back home on a weekend and when I reported for work the Monday after that, my officemates told me the bad news that our company has decided to outsource medical services through an HMO so all of us in the medical department will be retired before the year ends. It was a bad news, but as far as I was concerned it can be an answered prayer.

At that time, while I was still working, taking care of Lyca was assumed by her biological aunt who was still very young, had a very small frame and petite. I knew she won’t be able to take care of Lyca for a long time. True enough, she started to complain about her scoliosis and had to rest. I’ve decided to take over but I needed to look for a household helper and I was lucky to find a lady whose education has reached college level but had to stop for financial reasons. I later discovered that she likes taking care of Lyca and I have seen how patient and caring she was. Since she was not originally hired as a nanny or “yaya” (in Filipino term), I just refer to her as Lyca’s caregiver which is more appropriate because she does her job not only with love and care but also intelligently.

The above photos were shot only last month at a resort in Tanauan, a town in Batangas along Taal Lake. It has been almost three years since Lyca’s caregiver has patiently attended to all her needs, including some physical and occupational therapies learned from the professional therapists of Lyca.

My in-laws also had a caregiver for my late father-in-law who had Parkinsons and her main function now is to cook meals for all of us living in a duplex house. Whenever needed, she performs as a reliever of Lyca’s caregiver, a role she has performed since the year 2004. The photo at left shows her carrying Lyca on Christmas Eve of that year, when Lyca was only two years old, while the photo at the right is the duplex house where my in-laws live in the two-story half and my family in the bungalow type half of the duplex. Caring for a special child like Lyca becomes enjoyable when you know you are not alone in that noble mission.

Passion and Persistence

When I was new to Toastmasters Club in the Philippines in 2002, I was surprised to hear from the district officers of the club that my father was behind Manila Bay Toastmasters Club’s consistent status of belonging to one of the top Toastmasters clubs in the country. When I became the VP for Education of another Toastmasters branch, the Makati Toastmasters Club, I felt I had to achieve for my club what my father was able to accomplish for his club, even just for the duration of my term and I succeeded. Another success followed the succeeding year, which resulted to our club being included in the Hall of Fame of Toastmasters International.

Whenever Toastmasters Club had a speech contest and I was a contestant, my father consistently supported me, till I reached the division level. When I was retired from work, I had to resign from the club to study, while my father became sickly and also had to resign from the club.



Shown are photos of Taal Lake surrounding Taal Volcano where only a small crater is shown but it is only the mouth of the volcano, because its body is immersed in the lake. It is one of the active and famous volcanoes in the Philippines. I can say it is one of the most visited tourist spot in the country because it is in Tagaytay City, the second coldest city in the country.


The second photo which included my son O.C., and our adopted special child, Lyca at the foreground, was shot at a "viewing strip" that are occupied by restaurants, like the one shown in the third photo which included some members of my husband's clan, the Venida clan, with an overlooking view of the lake and volcano. All these first three photos were shot in January 2005, at the same time my father was exclusively selling lot properties in a subdivision near this viewing strip of the lake and volcano. My father was a real estate broker almost all his life and even in his 70s, almost every weekend he would bring clients to Tagaytay City or meet them there, until all the lots in this subdivision were sold out. It was his usual passion and persistence that made that possible.

When my own family had acquired real estate properties, my father not only had time to always personally meet me to answer my real estate property queries but would even always remind me to immediately attend to concerns related to real property before they become big problems. Even during this time that my father is now sickly, I don’t expect him to exert an effort to help us sell our townhouse unit, but he still continues to help us look for a buyer.

Most people who didn’t know me before I got married were not aware that my parents had separated a long time ago and had their own families. In spite of that, I consider myself very lucky because both my mother and father had spent considerable time to show their love for me, and most of all, to inspire me to do my best.

My father wasn’t present during my growing years but maybe that was meant to be. It was during these past years, even in my 50s and my father in his late 70s, that I needed his presence and advices the most, and I’m fortunate he was always around to guide me.

From my husband Renz and me, and grandchildren Lauren, O.C., and Lyca,

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to my Dad and the rest of the fathers in the world!

God said I Love You through the stones!

Everyday, I would open my blog and look at the "FEEDJIT Live Traffic Map" at the sidebar, not really to see how many readers have visited my blog but to see how far “God’s Message” in my blog has reached. Though not all of the readers have probably read that post, I assume most of them have read “Blogging” which also has the message.

I was inspired to write this when I saw the countries Russia, China, Bahamas and other countries I’ve seen for the first time in my blog’s map. I’m hoping it will also reach Mexico, Brazil, the northern parts of Canada, northern and central parts of Africa, the Middle East and more.

Until now I can’t believe this will happen, that blogging can be a very comfortable and fastest way to spread God’s message which started from a childish question I’ve asked Him while I was cleaning mineral stones in 2001, and to be answered by God through the number of those stones.

I also can’t believe that my situation since March of this year would happen, that I would be totally jobless and would have time to start blogging. I’m praying hard though that I will finally get a job this time. I firmly believe that this “God’s Message” through the stones has now found its natural course to mankind.

Lastly, I can’t believe I couldn’t think of any post to write this first week of June, until I checked the map again and thought why not share why I’m doing this? Maybe this is what God wants me to do.

Gosh, at this very moment, I was reminded that this coming June 12 will already be the 7th year since God said I love you through the stones!