Today, March 26, is the first death anniversary of my mother-in-law, and if ever there are tributes for her left undone or messages left unsaid, I guess this is the best time. The last time she was still able to see the people around her, she looked at me when I called her to check if she was alright, and that was her last gaze to a person.
As days and months went by, I've been trying to analyze if that last gaze meant something, and unexpectedly, I found a lot of meanings.
"Mamang" was always described as a plain housewife, but as the priest during her eulogy said, being a housewife is a very noble vocation. In Mamang's case, I could describe her as the "President of a Corporation" consisting of her offspring and their offspring. She sees to it that everyone in this "corporation" is doing well, and would announce to the world that they are indeed doing well, a recognition every employee would always wanted to hear from his or her bosses or employers. It is not only that quality that can make her a "best boss", she was also a servant leader, another quality of a good boss, because she always checks what each person "in her corporation" needs, and would offer her services to fulfill that need.
For some, and that included me, the services she would like to offer were most of the time exaggerated because she always thought she could do them all. A special child I adopted brought us closer, but also became a reason for occasional misunderstanding between us. That was because she would always claim she was capable of taking care of such child, while I consistently claimed that a caregiver is indispensable.
To make my story short, I am now taking care of this special child, with my husband's help because this child has grown tall, but no caregiver, and I have no intentions of getting the services of a regular caregiver at least in the next one or two years. Beyond that, I can't tell because my husband and are are no longer young, but I believe this activity of caring for our special child kept us stronger and more conscious and responsible for our health. At the time this special child was born, my bone density was at the boundary of normal and osteopenic, but ten years had passed and it is now high normal.
My mother-in-law's last gaze was meaningful because it made me realize that her statements in the past were not exaggerations because she had experienced them all and she knew she was capable of doing them, moreso because she had performed them out of love. Saying "sorry" without being enlightened doesn't seem right, but now that I've realized a lot and learned from Mamang, I'd like to say I'm sorry for those times I misunderstood her.
Today is also "Holy Tuesday", or the second day of Holy Week. We are reminded how Jesus Christ was misunderstood and persecuted. He died on the cross to save the whole world. It makes me think now that from every death, some people will find enlightenment and salvation. Jesus Christ sacrificed on the cross to start it all, and His death will continue to save mankind.
As days and months went by, I've been trying to analyze if that last gaze meant something, and unexpectedly, I found a lot of meanings.
"Mamang" was always described as a plain housewife, but as the priest during her eulogy said, being a housewife is a very noble vocation. In Mamang's case, I could describe her as the "President of a Corporation" consisting of her offspring and their offspring. She sees to it that everyone in this "corporation" is doing well, and would announce to the world that they are indeed doing well, a recognition every employee would always wanted to hear from his or her bosses or employers. It is not only that quality that can make her a "best boss", she was also a servant leader, another quality of a good boss, because she always checks what each person "in her corporation" needs, and would offer her services to fulfill that need.
For some, and that included me, the services she would like to offer were most of the time exaggerated because she always thought she could do them all. A special child I adopted brought us closer, but also became a reason for occasional misunderstanding between us. That was because she would always claim she was capable of taking care of such child, while I consistently claimed that a caregiver is indispensable.
To make my story short, I am now taking care of this special child, with my husband's help because this child has grown tall, but no caregiver, and I have no intentions of getting the services of a regular caregiver at least in the next one or two years. Beyond that, I can't tell because my husband and are are no longer young, but I believe this activity of caring for our special child kept us stronger and more conscious and responsible for our health. At the time this special child was born, my bone density was at the boundary of normal and osteopenic, but ten years had passed and it is now high normal.
My mother-in-law's last gaze was meaningful because it made me realize that her statements in the past were not exaggerations because she had experienced them all and she knew she was capable of doing them, moreso because she had performed them out of love. Saying "sorry" without being enlightened doesn't seem right, but now that I've realized a lot and learned from Mamang, I'd like to say I'm sorry for those times I misunderstood her.
Today is also "Holy Tuesday", or the second day of Holy Week. We are reminded how Jesus Christ was misunderstood and persecuted. He died on the cross to save the whole world. It makes me think now that from every death, some people will find enlightenment and salvation. Jesus Christ sacrificed on the cross to start it all, and His death will continue to save mankind.
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