Embracing Life

I first thought of the title "Embracing Death" for this post. This is supposed to describe my mother-in-law before she died yesterday morning maybe at past 1 A.M. But what I've seen in her was what life should be all about, not what death is.

My mom-in-law whom I call "Mang" or "Mama" started to show signs of dementia months ago. At first it was difficult for us who see her everyday, but we've learned to adjust to her condition. Obviously she has suffered from her dementia which caused her confusion most of the time. She would always complain she has not eaten yet though she really has. Whenever she was corrected she would be hurt, would say in the vernacular she's not dumb.

What was scary was her claims that her mother who died several years ago, was inside her house and seemed to be always there. She would also dream of dead relatives, including her husband, my father-in-law. I've heard of similar stories experienced by dying people but Mama was strong inspite of her dementia, so her claims were weird.

Until just a week ago, I've seen a big change in her. She opened our swinging kitchen door while almost laughingly saying she doesn't know where she lives anymore. When I asked if she has already eaten, she said she doesn't know if she has eaten or not, and she was happy while saying that. She has finally accepted her condition without fear or confusion.

In the past, she would usually wonder why I shouldn't add rice to my special child's food or give her sweets, and I would always explain this special child needs to burn fats not sugar. But last Sunday, when I fed my child with cake but avoiding the sweet topping, she would still remind me not to feed her with too much sweets, and I was surprised.

What I've seen in my mom-in-law's last moments was a person embracing life because she has accepted reality. She didn't care if she looked dumb because she was not. It was just her body going through dementia, not her soul. It was myocardial infarction that took her life, manifesting as pain in her stomach. During her last breaths, no sign of fear could be felt in her because she would answer casually when my husband would check her condition by calling her name, while we were busy attending to her and performing whatever we know that might help. When I felt she seems to be better, I casually said "Mama" and she looked at me with her eyes half closed.

When she was transferred to a chair to prepare her to go to the hospital, I was holding her head. I thought she was alright because I heard her breathe and she even expelled air. I did not know that could be her last breath.

Answered Prayers

In the past, I had wanted a child to help me forget my frustrations in life so I asked God for a child. It was a conditional prayer because I didn’t want the child to come from my adult offspring believing they were still young to settle down. Neither could I bear a child because my uterus was removed by operation. I realized it was an impossible prayer so I considered it a joke. "Just a joke, I told God".

I was surprised that God still answered my conditional prayer after a year, by giving me a child circumstances dictated me not to refuse. Weighing only one pound at birth, she was not expected to be a normal child, she wasn’t even expected to live for one day. But she fought and is continuously fighting to live so she will be ten years old, four months from now.

I fought with this child and God taught me how. God led me to learn what I thought was impossible for me to assimilate: the principles of acupuncture. The time was also right because electronic or needleless gadgets based on the principles of acupuncture were already available.

After learning enough about the principles of acupuncture and other information about health and wellness, I prayed for an integrative medicine barely a year ago, meaning integrating Oriental medicine with Western Medicine, but I really meant Traditional Chinese Medicine with Western Medicine. The former for prevention and maintenance while the latter for emergency cases and maintenance of chronic cases. I knew the integration wasn’t impossible, all it needs are guidelines but I was surrounded by people who had negative thoughts about it.

I couldn’t believe I am now involved in an Integrative Medicine project of the government. Circumstances led me to be involved in an organization promoting part of my country’s cultural arts in the field of health and wellness. "Hilot Pinoy Association of the Philippines" is a non-government non-profit organization which aims to revive the traditional Philippine healing modality better known as "hilot", and the organization is willing to upgrade this traditional "touch therapy" by integrating holistic modalities accredited by the Philippine government like Traditional Chinese Medicine. The organization painstakingly did everything possible to uplift "Hilot" and later enable our country’s Western medicine doctors to supervise "Hilot" practitioners. A well organized and documented "Hilot" modality can be the best vehicle of all modalities to be integrated in my own beloved country. I am proud that our traditional Philippine healing modality will live and can exist forever in our country through Integrative Medicine, and vice versa.

Amazing Powers!

The Power of Truth

I am a spiritual being
I am a child of the Eternal Power, God

The Power of Pure Intention

Holding on to my highest intention for myself and hold the same for others, I'll stay in the true nature of my own goodness. We are one family belonging to one God.

The Power of Godly Love

Creating a constant relationship of love with God fills me with all the powers and virtues that I need to fill life with victory. Through meditation, I allow myself to be filled with God's love.

Preparing for 2012

In my case, preparing for a coming New Year is more complicated than preparing for a Christmas Day, which focuses on food that may be given as Christmas gifts. For both occasions though, I prepare the house a month earlier so that it will look festive and jolly. That is why my color motif never changes, red being the main color because the color of the New Year is always red for good luck and prosperity.

Starting from the day after Christmas, preparation even gets more complicated because I would start to look for clutters that should be removed or reorganized and it seems like a never ending task. Hence, I haven’t accomplished much really.

In the past, the most important part of preparing for the New Year is assessing my accomplishments and misgivings for the year and coming up with the New Year’s plans and resolutions. This time, it will be different because based on experience, new things or opportunities or directions always arise, and time is too short to accomplish everything. Perhaps because I’m not getting any younger and I have to accomplish more than or different from what was expected.

Here’s my biggest challenge for the year, it’s a very general statement but a very good basis for directing my activities and decisions not only for the coming year but also the years ahead.

"I am the star in God’s eyes, who illuminates and shows everyone the way to true peace and happiness."

What made me decide to be that ambitious is a short story I posted in my "Dreams List" blog titled "A Star in God's Eyes".

I'll repeat my last sentence in that post,

"MAY THE YEAR 2012 BRING TRUE PEACE AND HAPPINESS TO EVERYONE!"

Lubel

Eight Powers of the Soul

The eight powers of the soul are developed through positive thinking and meditation. These powers are not hidden, they can be felt by others and can be sources of inspiration to them so they too can change themselves and become powerful. Just realizing these powers which I learned from Raja Yoga at Brahma Kumaris gives me great happiness. Anyone can attain these powers through meditation, which is the main objective of Raja Yoga.

The power to WITHDRAW thoughts is possible even while performing action. During any task, one can withdraw his thoughts so often and return to a state of inner peace. In this way thoughts do not continue to be involved when not absolutely necessary and no mental effort is wasted. We need this power to listen effectively to others. This is a true controlling power and brings us great strength.

The power to PACK-UP waste thoughts means we can “travel light”, not carrying around negative and wasteful thoughts and that will keep us free from mental and physical tiredness. This economy brings us power and a completely positive outlook.

The power of DISCERNMENT is the ability to give correct values to our thoughts, words and actions and those of others. Just as a jeweler can discriminate false from real diamonds, so should we be able to keep positive, worthwhile thoughts and disregard harmful ones. It is negative thoughts which often cloud discernment, and we can eliminate them through meditation.

The power to JUDGE allows us to take clear, quick, accurate and unbiased decisions. For this we need to be above the influence of situations, emotions and opinions of others and have clear understanding of what is right and what is wrong. Meditation provides this strength and clarity of intellect through greater self-understanding and a detached perspective.

The power to TOLERATE difficulties involves going beyond the influence of negative situations, being able not to react, even in thoughts. If someone offers me insult, criticism or anger, or if there is physical suffering, I remain peaceful and happy with the power to tolerate. On the basis of soul consciousness, I will be able to give love like the fruit on a tree which, when pelted with sticks and stones, gives its fruits in return.

The power to ACCOMMODATE is the ability to be above any clash of personality or nature, to be able to mould and adjust myself as the situation requires. I should not be one to create conflict in any situation. Just as an ocean can accommodate all the rivers flowing into it, so should I not reject anyone or anything. I can instead change relationships or circumstances through the power of good wishes.

The power to FACE obstacles in life is developed through meditation wherein we experience our original nature of peace and become detached from the consciousness of the body. We are then able to observe and see beyond problems and difficulties, and discover a positive side to something which seems totally negative. This gives us the strength to face situations.

The power to COOPERATE with others requires seeing others as our brothers and sisters. It also requires recognizing the specialties of others as well as our limitations. A task will be accomplished if we put our specialties and energies together. This creates unity and strength within a group, making any task seem easy. The power of many brings great success and great happiness.

Social Responsibility

I am a peaceful and loving soul and my objective is to remain in that state at all times. But what if a person owes me a big sum of money? How can I be peaceful if I will have to constantly remind that person about his or her debts? I asked that question during one of my Raja Yoga classes. The answer was you can remind that person once or twice and that's enough. The universal law of karma will take care of reminding a person about his or her debts.

Somehow, that Raja Yoga session made my days more peaceful. I've ignored the opinions of other people about social responsibility, that I have to report that person or file a estafa case because of the check payments that bounced. But I decided to follow the advice of my father before he died, not to pursue that, instead just constantly remind that person to pay. But the constant reminding was hard and depressing. So the yoga teacher's answer was a relief.

Until I was recently required by a company to present evidences of the person's bad intentions because I'd like to terminate my affiliation to the said person's business involving that company.

After completing my report with evidences, I felt so much relief and I believe that was because I accomplished that missing task of social responsibility. I've considered the task a blessing and it has even more strengthened my faith in God.

I AM A PEACEFUL SOUL !

I am a soul. My original qualities are peaceful, loving, blissful, pure and always positive.

From my past lives I acquired some talents, memories some of them sad, beliefs and habits, and some vices. I am now aware of my original qualities. They could have been covered by bad habits, negative memories and sad experiences, but I should always try my best to let my original qualities surface by using my intellect which is part of my soul. I should use my intellect to discern situations positively, and judge and decide with love and peace.

I acquired this present body in the Philippines, and hold that citizenship, but my place of origin is the world of silent light beyond. With this body, I perform the role of a mother and wife, as well as a systems designer of computer applications. I'm glad that with this body, I am also able to share the talents I've acquired from all my past lives up to the present, to the whole world.

My husband, my two daughters and son are souls too, and as souls, they are my brothers and sisters. They have the same original qualities as mine, so I will respect their ideas and discuss matters or issues with respect. Like me, their original qualities at times will be covered by negative experiences even from past lives that they subconsciously recalled, but they can always let their original qualities surface and I should always respect them as souls that are loving, peaceful, blissful, pure and positive.

I was being tested through the loss of my job and financial losses, but I recognize my strengths and face each challenge with courage.

If my body gets sick, I can remain unaffected by the miserable feelings sickness can create, by being detached and loving. But I will use my intellect to take care of my body to the best of my ability.

When a loved one dies, I should understand that soul has another part to play in another body. I played my part as a relative or a friend to the best of my ability. I should allow myself to be detached with love. I will surely meet that soul again in another life.

When my body becomes old and won't recover from illness, I will need to withdraw from it, and leave it with love and peace. I'll make sure my affairs are in order. I will go to the light.

In the meantime, I will fulfill my mission on earth which I know are many. There are several souls around me supporting me in my missions, and I suspect that the soul occupying the body of Lyca, my special child, is here to support me all the way, and to support other souls too. With the help of those souls surrounding me, one of my missions could be to support other souls too. That soul can be you.

Birthday of a green turtle

Wendy, our pet green turtle or terrapin, became a symbol of strength in our household after surviving 5 months without food because of getting sick from overfeeding, at the same time not being able to move because of blindness resulting from the same illness.


That was 4 years ago and she was still a baby then, so she is 4 years old now! Here are her photos, the same photos I published 3 years ago, the photo when she was still a baby and her photo at one year old, and her photo now. The same gray stone will always be there in her pool to see how big she has grown, and it has now served as her stepping stone.

Happy birthday, Wendy !!

Left or right brained?

Five years ago I decided to shift my career from systems design and analysis to interior design. That would be shifting the activities of my brain from the left to the right, which is more my characteristic based on the "overlapping thumbs" test and my first response to the dancer test.

For financial reasons however, I was forced to revert back to the field where I could readily earn an income - the Information Technology. It was a long way for me to go as far as Interior Design is concerned. And even if I have a big potential to create good paintings too, I did't have the luxury of time.

So two years ago, I got back to the IT field. That took only 9 months though, and now I know the real reason why it did not last long. It was because of pressure in some major tasks that I had to handle alone. I decided to just focus and learn more about TCM or Traditional Chinese Medicine since wellness or prevention of diseases is vital at my age, and to also find solutions for my special child. That means I was still using my left brain, am I correct?

After a year and a half I'm back to Information Technology but also still enhancing my knowledge in wellness since it is a basic need. That doesn't mean I'm earning through IT again because I've just started to enhance my knowledge of some software I've learned in the past. I'm excited because I'm learning again.

I'm just beginning to realize now that it's not really the dominance of my left or right brain that makes learning exciting but it is really learning about new things. It just so happened that those new things are new technologies involving the left brain.

I just had a more detailed "Creativity test" and it turned out I am 55% left and 45% right brained. But next time somebody asks if I am left or right brained, my answer would be "it is in between, ready to grasp whatever is new".

What's next?

After my anniversary post about my conversation with God, what's next? Every time I talk about God's message, it's as if I've done the finale of a story, so I tend to rest. As if there's nothing better to talk about than God's message. His "I loye you" message to mankind was so comforting but I hope it won't make mankind sleep.

That last statement "I hope it won't make mankind sleep", I just realized was so "human", so lacking in trust in God. Perhaps I was speaking for myself because I was sleeping. We may sleep but God is always awake to watch over us. And then He wakes us up even through simple things like a tv show, or a text from a friend. Like what He did to me...

The next thing I know is I'm at Georgie's place and met her sisters Coroy and Pempi there. Pempi has inspired me since I was a teenager through her artworks, and now it's clear it was Coroy's turn to inspire me too. She said I should continuously and intelligently converse with Lyca, my special needs child, because she will understand me. Lyca is blind and because of cerebral palsy cannot utter words that can be understood. But she could verbally respond, most of the time with actions, and I know she's intelligent because she laughs whenever a song familiar to her was sang out of tune, and would clap her hands unceasingly whenever her favorite choir, the Novo Concertante Manila, would sing. Time will come we will completely understand her and send her to school.

I just can thank God for His wake up calls to meet inspiring people. Shame on me to ask "what's next?".