I Dont Want To Retire!

Probably the real essence of not retiring is not to stop thinking about beautiful ideas and experiences and sharing them.
I aspire to inspire with a message from God to mankind and lessons learned from parenting, travels, home improvements, blogging, Feng Shui, Traditional Chinese Medicine, health and wellness, and many more.

5.09.2012

"Naligo ka ba?" (Did you take a bath?)

Almost every Sunday in the past, after I bathe my special child, I would bathe too so I would ask my helper to have the child dressed for church. After that, she was usually brought to the neighboring house which is a duplex of ours, while I get myself dressed too. I could always hear the helper of our neighbor telling my child that she still has that "hardened debris" or "muta" on her teargland so though it was obvious the child has taken a bath, she would ask her "naligo ka ba?" People who were present would laugh and since our bedroom was just adjacent to where they were, I could hear everything. That could be funny, but for a mother like me who took as much time as possible to bathe her child, in my case, I never miss the area between her toes, especially the areas on the main body where excretion takes place, it hurts to hear other people laugh over that omitted area, the comment coming from a helper. Perhaps that "hardened debris" wasn't noticeable at first but when I washed the child's face, the debris had swollen. Well, the helper used to be under me and took care of my child before she was transferred to the neighbor because her expertise in handling old people was needed there.

The old person who was my neighbor was my mother-in-law. When I learned she had dementia, I sacrificed practically anything for her welfare, making up for my past misconceptions before the doctor's diagnosis. Now that she had passed on, it is no longer necessary for me to sacrifice and tolerate any hurting comment, especially comments that put people down. What a great opportunity for a helper to put down her employer or previous employer to uplift herself, to get that feeling that she is indeed better than her employer, especially when one or more persons could hear her comment!

The "skillful" helper was still under me on New Year's Day and was with us when we celebrated the New Year countdown in a mall. We brought our special child and while waiting for the countdown, we stayed outside Starbucks. I positioned the child's stroller so that the child could be near lying position to be able to take a nap. We were at the vicinity of the mall during the countdown but after that big event, we couldn't leave because of the congested traffic in the area. We stayed inside the building where we could see the cars approaching so we could easily get ready when our car arrives. I repositioned the stroller again so my child could sleep while the helper and another companion were fanning hard at the child though it wasn't really too hot. My child vomited and the helper cruelly blamed me because I changed the position of the stroller. But my child did not vomit when that was done when we were at Starbucks so I tried to control myself by just saying "All of us did something wrong so let's stop blaming each other!" I wanted to blame their hard fanning but the other companion who was also fanning at the child was close to me so I couldn't do that.

Those are just two stories of a helper putting down her employer who was unfortunately myself, and there are more similar stories involving the same helper and myself. All I could say now is "Wow! How could I have tolerated that?". I am not a spiteful person, I love people because my mother and grandmother have been very good examples of very loving people. So I'm sure I could still tolerate such misgiving by a helper or anybody, but not anymore by the same helper or person, because she also needs to learn some lessons.

These are real stories, not a detail was made up. Perhaps the best reason why I should state "the helper" is for people to understand why she needs an "uplifting" so please don't judge me on maligning this occupation. In fact if you'll hear all my stories I was the one being maligned in all those stories. I may not be a perfect person who never maligned a helper but more than once is too much so it would be better for me to find her a better employer if I commit that more than once. I loved the people who had served in my household, in fact my special child was the biological child of one of them.

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