Ancient City

Some readers might have noticed that I added digital photos and even changed some. I didn’t expect that the change in the title of this blog and putting more photos will make me more excited! That explains why most blogs have a lot of digital photos inserted. They don’t only attract the readers but also motivate the writers. In my case, “I Don’t Want To Retire!” as a title also makes me more energized and motivates me to share whatever topic I can think of. Probably the real essence of not retiring is not to stop thinking about beautiful ideas and experiences and sharing them.


The photo that I found which can relate to the first item in my “Dreams List”, which is to travel to Greece, reminded me not only of beautiful memories but also of the very rich historical value of the places near the town of Preveza in Greece. The Ancient City of Cassope, for instance, where a photo of the ruins is shown here, was destroyed by the Roman forces in 177-176 B.C. (notice the person afar at the left to give you an idea how far the ruins are from one of the amphitheatres, that are just big white rocks now, where I stood to shoot the photo).




The next photo shows the opposite view from the same amphitheatre, where my daughter Lauren is seated at the photo. At the background is the top of a rock called Stefani near Zalogo Village, about one kilometer from Cassope. The white figures near the cliff of that rock is called “The Monument of Zalogo” or giant sculptures of dancing women symbolizing the 22 Souliotisses women with their children and 6 men who sacrificed themselves by dancing till they fell off the cliff, so as not to be enslaved by the Turks, on December 13, 1803.

When I was a kid, I had wished to go to Greece to see the places of the gods and goddesses of Greek mythology. I didn’t know that a vast learning of the most beautiful war stories in history awaits me if I go to Greece. Watch out for my entry about Nikopolis (Victory City).

Endless Love

After almost a month of blogging, another realization is my endless love for computer applications or Information Technology (IT). At first, I told myself, maybe I should stop tinkering with computers and leave computer tasks to the young, but now I don’t think I will always like to do that. Maybe I’ve said that because of my past insecurity of not having an exposure to web-based applications, but look now, I’m blogging. Although I’m now using a blog template, I can rearrange my photos and other elements on my pages by editing the HTML code or the template's program code, which is an easy task for me.

For two years, I’ve tried to operate a coffee and tea business with my husband. According to Feng Shui, we are a great team since he is a “dragon” the doer, and I am a “snake” the thinker, but I don’t think I will like that set-up for a long time. I don’t want to tell my husband what to do every time. I also realize I am more a technical than a business man, and I always want to share to people whatever new lessons I learn as a technical person, of course in layman’s terms.

My advice to my IT colleagues is to stay in your profession no matter how old you are now. Anyway, the WIFI technology will still allow you to go places or just stay at home. If you really want to have your own business, then choose a business that is in line with your profession.

Don't Retire!

When I woke up this morning, my first thought was “I don’t want to retire!”. Yes, I woke up to the realization that I cannot retire because of two very basic reasons: first, I have a special child to support, and second, my retirement pay has been exhausted.

It’s a good thing that a blog’s title can easily be changed. I realized that the title “My Retirement” just makes me feel too old. I know that most people my age or even younger yearn to retire young so if you’re one of them, give that a second thought. Maybe you just want to retire as an employee but want to have your own business. In the Philippines, you will need at least 10 million pesos to be able to take the risk of going into business and still live conveniently even in times of losses. Otherwise, don’t retire! You may work part time or get a contractual or project based job, you may even study in your free time to enhance or update your skills, just don’t retire!

Amazing Grace in Greece

I was in Greece with my son and daughter in July 2005, when my employer’s Top Management announced the need to close down our department by the end of 2005, which will result to us, the staff, to be retired involuntarily. If that was announced earlier, I wouldn’t have gone to Greece, since the transportation alone was expensive. However, whenever I’d think about that and the events that happened in Greece, I’d always end up very grateful that the announcement was made later because I consider the trip to Greece an amazing grace from God.

The trip to Greece was an opportunity for my daughter and me to watch the University of Asia and the Pacific Chorale where my son was a member, compete during the international choir contest at Preveza, a small town in Greece. From the Athens airport, we rode a bus and on our way to Preveza , I’ve seen a very beautiful spot that can be seen in any part of the world, but the site of the clouds emitting rays of the sun at that time looked very special to me. It appeared like a sign that God’s graces will be showered to the UA&P Chorale so I told Arwin Tan, the choir master, “It looks like you’re going to win!”, while we were all looking at the clouds.

I watched the UA&P Chorale rehearse, and during their breaks, I would read the John Maxwell book that I brought. A chapter of that book was about John Maxwell's determinants of victory, and I was astonished because the choir sounded like the winner whom John Maxwell would like to address his “determinants of victory”, so I copied it and was read by Arwin Tan to the choir.

During the contest proper, while listening to the UA&P Chorale, I knew I was right. I knew they will emerge as the winner. Not only did they sing like winners, there was even a Divine Intervention during one of their first songs titled "O Magnum Misterium" ("Oh Great Mystery"). The climax of the song was a series of "Alleluia" and about two seconds before that, the nearby church's bells rang and blended with their song then stopped right before the final alleluia! It was very beautiful!

Dreams List

Have you watched the movie, “The Bucket List?” I guess those who did were tempted to make their own list after the movie. In my case, I have a similar list but it just remained in my thoughts, until today. I call it my “Dreams List”, and it never entered my mind that not only will I document that list, but will also share it to the public. Here is my list, from the oldest which started when I was just a teenager, up to the latest (photo at left was shot by Lauren Venida at the Cassope Ancient City in Greece):

1. To travel to Greece. FULFILLED.
2. To study Interior Design. HALF-FULFILLED.
3. To have my own family and a home with a garden. FULFILLED.
4. To be an announcer or an emcee. FULFILLED.
5. To be a soprano. FULFILLED.
6. To deliver a speech in public. FULFILLED.
7. To have a painting exhibited in public. FULFILLED.
8. While in Singapore in 1998: To be back someday. FULFILLED
9. To win in a photography contest. FULFILLED
10. To win in a singing contest. FULFILLED.
11. To win in a speech contest. FULFILLED.
12. To win a speech contest in the international category.
13. To write a book about life.
14. To have my own laptop. FULFILLED.
15. To have a smaller laptop.
16. To bring Lyca, our special child, to U.S.A. for a program at Elks.
17. To establish a “Life Every Artwork Foundation” (LEAF).
18. To build an art gallery for LEAF.
19. To win in the Philippine lotto.

The last item, to win in lotto, is necessary for me to be able to fulfill the last three items before this, first , to bring Lyca to an Elks branch in U.S.A., second, to establish a foundation which requires a million pesos capital according to our Philippine government laws, and lastly, to build an art gallery for the foundation. My idea about the foundation came about a long time ago after I was blessed with scholarships. Originally, I thought of an educational foundation that will give scholarships in return to the blessings I received. However, when Lyca was born and we looked for government funded institutions for cerebral palsy patients, we discovered that these institutions seem to lack the necessary funds for personnel and building maintenance. If well taken cared of, the life of a cerebral palsy patient can be extended up to 40 years. Aside from the right to live, I believe that each cerebral palsy patient has missions, whether at his own home, or in the society where he belongs.

Every artwork in the “LEAF Art Gallery” will be dedicated to a cerebral palsy patient. The art gallery will benefit not only these patients but also the artists, some of them the street children who were developed by Fernando Sena, Philippine's Father of Art Workshop, through his Art Discovery and Learning Foundation, Inc. (ADFLI), where I am now an inactive member (photo at left with Mr. Sena and my "Birds" in pastel was shot by OC Venida).

Some big dreams on the list were changes from my original dreams, like the educational foundation that became a foundation for cerebral palsy patients, and “my dream house” that is no longer on the list because it was replaced by “a home with a garden” which is owned by my in-laws but an ideal home for Lyca. I believe that most unexpected changes are part of God’s plans, so instead of trying to fulfill all those dreams, I prefer to wait for His plans for me and my special child.

Miracles Are For Animals Too

About the same time we bought my pet turtle, a baby terrapin we named Wendy, our pet cat named Ping was limping because the whole of his right hind leg was fully stretched on air behind him. The veterinarian said his bone was broken and advised we try to give him Seven Seas multivitamins but cannot promise Ping’s leg will go back to normal. He was given a regular dose of the multivitamins which incidentally was the same brand we were giving Lyca, our special child. After a week, Ping’s leg returned to normal. The veterinarian was surprised with the outcome, she said that it was a rare case so she’s going to present the case to her colleagues (photo of Ping the cat was shot by Lauren Venida).

When I went to Singapore in September last year, I delegated Wendy’s feeding to my daughter and Lyca’s care giver. Maybe I was wrong to make two persons responsible for Wendy’s food because she was probably overfed while I was away. When I arrived home after a week, Wendy wouldn’t eat. I tried other kinds of food but she still wouldn’t eat. She looked sick and wouldn't move so I used rice washing for her pool and would just immerse her there, hoping she would get nourishment from it, but also tried putting a few drops of the Seven Seas multivitamins. She had no improvement after a month, in fact she even became blind. I thought it was hopeless to bring her to the veterinarian since she was dying. Nevertheless, I continued to change her rice washing pool everyday with the multivitamins every other day. That went on for two months until we noticed that she was no longer blind but still wouldn’t eat.

After five months without food except for the pool of rice washing with a few drops of Seven Seas for Wendy, I chanced to buy pellets made in Germany for baby turtles at a pet shop. We were all very happy that Wendy finally liked the food I gave her, so I stopped the rice washing with drops of vitamins. Wendy is now very active and domesticated, trying to reach every person she sees, her long neck stretched to the max.

Not Finding A Job But Finding More Friends

The reason why I enrolled in Interior Design after I learned I will be retired by end of 2005 was to be able to still work when I reach the compulsory retirement age of 65, and be able to continously support the special child whom we intended to adopt. While studying, I also had to help my husband run the coffee kiosk. There was also a time in 2006 we tried the call center business with my brother, but realized we will need a big sum of money for the monthly operations cost if we seriously want to pursue that business, and that scared us.

Every time I got involved with a new business, I stopped attending my Interior Design classes. It was a good thing that each term of the course was only 3 months so stopping temporarily was easy. In 2007 though, we were obliged to pay in cash a total amount of more than 800 thousand pesos for the balance of the lot we purchased in 2004, or our down payment will be forfeited. I needed to find a regular job so I stopped schooling again. This time I can’t tell if I can still go back to school since we no longer have the extra funds for it.

In the Philippines, looking for a job at my age is hard. I’m still hoping however, to be employed in the networking company that will soon open a branch here in the Philippines. I’ve chosen this company with the vision that I can help transfer its technology to my country, because I had the chance to assess this company's application systems in Singapore and found them very impressive. In the process of learning more about this company, I had the opportunity to travel to Singapore and Malaysia, and meet friends also from other Asia-Pacific countries like Taiwan, Hongkong, Thailand, Korea and Indonesia (photo was shot by Hendri Jap of Indonesia).

I can’t help but relate all these events to that mission of spreading God’s message, because there are now more people who can help me with that mission, regardless of religion.

Blogging

After I realized that the 143 stones meant “I love you” and was God’s message to mankind, I was in a dilemma. How can I tell mankind and who will believe me? I was brought up as a Protestant in my toddler years, a Catholic in my school years, I had a Muslim best friend, and I believed in Buddhism as an adult. Does that make me credible enough or on the contrary? That was in June 2001 and I've decided that God will tell me the right time and way to tell mankind.

In 2002, God proved that He indeed loves me because He granted my wish to have a baby though I can't give birth anymore and was not ready to be a grandmother. The special child I told you about in my previous post "Count Your Blessings" was born on July 24, 2002. The more I was obliged to share these miracles, so I joined Toastmasters Club that year. I learned to speak and write better (special thanks to my mentors, Dina and Brooks Loomis), and I’ve delivered several speeches about God’s message and the child. I was not very good though to win in a speech contest in the international category so there were just a few who heard my speeches. It was not yet the right time.

The first time I read the word “blogging”, I did not only find it strange, it also sounded weird to me. That was maybe more than six months ago, until I’ve read several blogs and seriously thought that maybe I should also have one, and that "blogging" is just the short word for "web logging". It is now 2008, I am jobless, and for the first time in so many years I have time for something like blogging. It has been a long wait to find the right time and medium to share God’s message. I understand that this can be the right time for some, but not for all.

Disappointments Linger

Oh yes, disappointments linger!

During my last quarter as an employee, I've tried to prepare for my retirement by starting a coffee kiosk business. I've realized later that my objectives in putting up this kind of business were not reconciled. I wanted a coffee kiosk that also serves sandwiches because I love to eat breakfast outside, and that should always come with coffee. I also longed for a kiosk inside a mall, so we started the coffee kiosk in a mall. My husband and I ended up still eating breakfast at other places because the mall opens at 10 o'clock in the morning. We were later convinced by our business partner to transfer the kiosk to a school and that happened after eight months of staying at the mall but lost. Business was much better at the school because there was a target market. The problem was that the target market existed only from almost midday till sunset, and only when there were classes.

I've entered the network marketing business in 1995. There are always good products in a networking company so it is not a problem for me to stay with just one networking company, even during the time network marketing almost died in our country because of the prevalence of scams in this type of business. I witnessed the launching of a networking company in 1995 as one of its pioneer members, and I was still a member when it closed its branch in our country in 2006.

I am trying the network marketing business again. This business is like a love story, once you get involved, you ask yourself, "How long will this last?".

God's Message

Why I learned to always count my blessings is a true story I owe to tell mankind. It was June 12, 2001, I was cleaning the stones of our mineral water pot. There were several stones, maybe more than 70, each stone the size of a thumb and I was using a toothbrush for cleaning.

It was such a boring task that only reminded me of my disappointments. I was dissatisfied with a lot of people around me. I expected too much from them and because of that, I also hated myself! Whenever I feel that way, I talk to God and that was what I did, asking Him why these should happen to me. There was one question for every dissatisfaction or disappointment which was immediately answered in my thoughts. Until I noticed that the answers were all beautiful so I wondered if they really came from me. I thought that God might be answering my questions but why was I asking Him silly questions? "Why don't I ask Him a question that only He can answer?" So I asked Him this question: "If you have a message to mankind through the number of these stones I am cleaning, what would that message be?" I was wondering though, "How will I interpret God's message through the number of stones? If there were 75 stones, will that mean a seven-letter word plus a five-letter word like "PROMOTE PEACE"? Who am I to know what words can come from God?

Nevertheless, I counted the stones. I was surprised I counted 143 stones. "That means "I love you!"". My conscience spoke to me and said "Oh, come'on, you made a mistake, for sure!", but what if there were really 143 stones? So I counted again. I couldn't believe there were really 143 stones! God said I love you! Not only to me, but to the whole of mankind!

Count Your Blessings

The year I was involuntarily retired due to the inevitable closing down of our department, I knew what to do with my retirement pay, thanks to the entrepreneur seminar given by my last employer. I learned that I shouldn’t use all my retirement pay for business. I used a large percentage of it to buy real estate properties. These properties are now blessings to my family though we’re selling some of them now. The best blessings, however, will always be those that cannot be bought. They usually come unexpectedly, like the special child who was prematurely born inside our house. The biological mother of this child had packed up all her things and was ready to go home to her province because her mother wanted her to be home on her debut. A week before her scheduled trip, she gave birth on her bed, shocking everyone at home since nobody knew she was pregnant, and the baby was really very small they thought it was dead (one pound only). She was also shocked, at first thought there was a stone expelled by her belly. To make the long story short, the duplex house of my mother-in-law where we live at the smaller house, became one big home for this special child we have now legally adopted.

For this year, 2008, be prepared for the unexpected. It can be the best blessing you’ll receive in your lifetime, though at first, it can be disguised as a big problem. Continue trusting God completely, because He will always prepare you for it.

As the year 2008 starts

I am now on my third year as a retired employee. I must admit that for the past two years I was more scared than secure as a retiree, but I must also say that I was happier. For two years, I did not attempt to get a regular job because I first chose to invest time to pursue a past frustration to study Interior Design. That decision was backed-up by an obligation to also have more time to take care of a special child.

Aside from being able to study, my best blessing as a retiree was to spend the rest of my time as I please. That blessing led me to more blessings, like seeing many flowers in bloom in my own garden. When I was employed it was all greens, because I didn’t have time for them. Like the flowers in my garden, they say I am blooming now, maybe because I have time to make my surroundings help me remove stress.